How Can You Trust Yourself In Nine Steps?


“You won’t get anywhere until you learn to trust yourself.” C.R. Lamothe

Keep this in mind whenever you find yourself wondering why you are not going where you want to go in your life.

No matter where you go in life and how you get there, there is one thing that you need if you are going to get to where you want to be: trust in yourself. Without trust in your to be able to properly utilize the resources and people in your life to help you get from point to point.

Today’s inspiration is about the personal trust that you must have in yourself in order to achieve your goals and dreams. We will take a look at the following:

  1. What is trust?

  2. What are the 21 signs that you may not trust yourself?

  3. How can you trust yourself in nine steps?

Now that we have the questions, let’s find the answers!

What is trust?

Merriam-Webster defines trust for us as:

  1. To believe that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc. : to have confidence in (someone or something).

  2. To believe that something is true or correct.

  3. To hope or expect that something is true or will happen.

Trust is something that is needed establish a comfort zone with someone or something working out to be successful as planned.


What are the 21 signs that you may not trust yourself?

Although you are capable of doing anything you want in your lifetime, there are some signs that may point to you not having the type of trust in yourself needed to be successful. Iyanla Vanzant with Mind Body Green has an article called 21 Signs You Don’t Trust Yourself. This is a very good article, and I will share the signs below:

  1. I have a hard time recognizing, understanding, or believing in my innate value and worth.

  2. I accept the negative, self-rejecting messages that I received in childhood.

  3. I think that I could have done something to change or stop the childhood abuse, neglect, or abandonment that I experienced.

  4. I do things to prove myself and my value to others.

  5. I try to control everything around me so I can feel safe.

  6. I compare the choices I’ve made to those made by others.

  7. I minimize or deny my own needs.

  8. It’s sometimes difficult to recognize or tell the truth.

  9. I am unable to find, or value, my own voice.

  10. I’m unable or unwilling to recognize or challenge my self-sabotaging or self-destructive thoughts, beliefs, and behavior patterns.

  11. I’m prone to catastrophizing — i.e., I’m filled with the constant expectation of failure, disappointment, or betrayal.

  12. I mentally relive or rehash past traumas or adverse events.

  13. I engage in negative and harmful self-talk, and my negative ego takes control.

  14. I participate in self-sabotaging or compulsive repetitive behaviors that create shame, guilt, or self-punishment.

  15. I break the promises that I’ve made to myself.

  16. I fail to keep the commitments and/or agreements that I’ve made with others.

  17. I find it difficult to finish what I start.

  18. I hold in anger, resentment, or ill will toward — or I speak negatively about — those who I feel have hurt or harmed me.

  19. I deny or minimize my power of choice.

  20. I defer to others — allowing them to make choices and decisions for me.

  21. I rely heavily on my physical senses to make decisions and am often disconnected from my instincts, intuition, and inner guidance.

If you find any of these signs fit you, it is a sign that you may be standing in your own way of allowing success to happen in your life.


How can you trust yourself in nine steps?

It is time to get the trust back in yourself so that you can do whatever you set your mind to. TealSwan shares an article called How To Trust Yourself. There are nine things you can do to establish the self-trust needed to pursue your goals and dreams. I will list and give a brief take on each step below:

  1. Build self confidence.

    • Self confidence provides you the inner fire needed to trust in your knowledge and abilities.
    • You can build your self-confidence by start with something small and easy to accomplish. Use the satisfaction you received from that success and see out more opportunities that will help you increase your level of self confidence.
  2. Allow yourself to do what you are good at and what comes easily to you.

    • When you are doing what you are good at or what is easy for you, you show trust in the process while giving yourself your best effort.
    • You can jot them down, focus on honing your craft, and accept the positive feedback so that you can remember what you excel at.
  3. Let go of the idea of “the right answer” and just look for “your right answer”.

    • When you look for the right answer for your situation, you will wind up with the right answer that has been tried and tested.
    • Look to be unbiased by doing research, conducting interviews, etc., in order to get the comprehensive answer you need to trust in your thoughts and actions.
  4. Take risks, even if taking those risks results in making “mistakes”.

    • Taking risks and making mistakes are how you can learn, change, and trust other people in you life.
    • Do not be afraid to take chances and learn from them so that you can grow intellectually.
  5. Own the responsibility for your own decisions and their consequences, both the positive consequences and negative consequences.

    • When you take responsibility for your decisions and their consequences, you are building trust in your ability to choose and deal with whatever may come your way.
    • Acknowledge either in words or actions your role in making the decisions and accepting the consequences.
  6. Live your life according to your own personal sense of integrity.

    • Having your own personal sense of integrity in your life can allow you to have trust in your ability to do the right thing every time.
    • Identify and shape what defines your integrity. Remove those things that do not fit into your life and live according to what you feel is right.
  7. Compile a list of all the ways that you do trust yourself.

    • When you can see the ways you do trust yourself, it can truly put in perspective how much you trust yourself.
    • Simply make a list of everyone and everything that you trust yourself with. Make sure that list is accessible for you to see so that you can either edit or revisit the list for motivation.
  8. Listen to your feelings.

    • Your feelings can reveal messages needed to help you trust yourself as to how you feel about things and situations.
    • Take the time to stop, separate yourself from the situation, and listen to what you are feeling so that you are guided in the right direction.
  9. STAY (STop Abandoning Yourself).

    • When you learn how to stand in strong to deal with your emotions and feelings about a person or situation, you will learn to trust yourself to always be there regardless of the situation.
    • Stop running from your negative emotions and develop healthy boundaries so that you are always clear and understood by yourself and others people.


I encourage you to take the time to look at the moments where you have shown the most trust in yourself. You will find in those moments that when you fully trust in yourself, you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Do not let your fears and doubts get in the way of you believing and trusting in your abilities and knowledge. Let’s remember that you cannot become successful in life if you cannot trust in yourself to do what it takes to get to where you want to be in your life.


I have six questions in which I would love for you to give some thought. Feel free to answer and comment below:

  1. Can you recall a moment where you stopped trusting in yourself?

  2. What made you decide to stop trusting in yourself to be successful at the time?

  3. Did you rebound from that moment or gave up?

    • If you rebounded, how did you regain trust in yourself?
    • If you gave up, why did you choose to give up?
  4. What or who are some of the people and things you trust yourself with today?

  5. How does it make you feel t trust yourself with those people and/or things?

  6. What would you recommend to someone who is trying to develop trust in himself/herself?

Your answers and comments can help yourself or someone else understand in order to find the happiness and success that you or anyone else desires in life, it all starts with having trust in yourself and what you are capable of.



I am a husband, father, life coach, motivator, and sailor wrapped into one guy with one mission in mind: To bring you the motivation and inspiration one post at a time!

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