I want to start off with a quote from quoteslife143:
“Never apologize for saying what you feel.” quoteslife143.com
Keep this in mind whenever you speak your mind.
One way that you communicate with someone or something is to say something. There will be moments where you will say things that will offend or harm someone or something. You will have two options which you are faced with this situation:
- Apologize and either rephrase or change what you say.
- Do not apologize and let the other person deal with what you have to say.
This is a tough decision to make because each situation is different. Here is how they are different. Let’s ask a few questions to see if we can find a way for you get to a point where you can speak your mind and not apologize for it.
What are the pros and cons to apologizing versus not apologizing?
If you are going to decide on whether to apologize or not, you need to know the pros and cons. Here are the two options below with a pro and con to each.
Option #1: Apologize and either rephrase or change what you say.
In doing this, you are simply letting a person know that what you said was not right at that particular moment. You also are compelled to retract and/or adjust what you say to become less offensive to that person.
Pro: You are able to mend a relationship by admitting fault and trying to find the right words to make the person feel better.
Con: In you trying to soften the blow by apologizing and either rephrasing or changing what you say to someone, you are not reflecting your true feelings and you are preventing a person from hearing exactly what they need to know.
Option #2: Do not apologize and let the other person deal with what you have to say.
In doing this, you are letting what you say stick regardless of what they other person may think or feel about your comments.
Pro: You are letting a person know exactly what you mean without mincing words due to how a person may think and/or feel about it.
Con: You risk hurting someone’s feelings to where it may be tough for that person to recover and for you to salvage that relationship.
The choice is up to you, but it will never be easy each time you are placed in such a situation.
What makes choosing between apologizing and not apologizing difficult?
This is one question that can pull on your heart-strings because of the situation and the people who are involved in the situations respectively. Here are three facts that you need to know:
- You cannot avoid making the choice because the feelings of your own and other people involved in the situation are on the line.
- When you share a connection with someone, it makes decision difficult because of the connections you share either emotionally or physically.
- There is no true way of knowing the outcome of your decision until you actually make the decision.
It is not an easy decision, but you have to step up and make the decision.
What are seven things that you can say what you feel and not have to apologize?
There are moments where you can say what you feel and not have to apologize. Katherine Schreiber with Greatist has found seven things you should not have to apologize about. I will list them below and give my take on each one.
- Your feelings.
- This is an opportunity to reveal how you feel about a particular topic, person, or thing.
- You never should apologize for your feelings because you are lessening your own feelings at the expense of others.
- Your appearance.
- Your appears is an outward expression of what you think and feel about a particular moment, person, or thing.
- Choosing to apologize for your outward expression puts a muzzle on your fashion or looks.
- Needing “me” time.
- Getting your “me” time is your opportunity focus of taking personal time out for yourself.
- You should never have to apologize for taking time out for yourself when other people take time out for themselves.
- Asking a question.
- When you ask a question, you are attempting to gain knowledge and information.
- Apologizing for asking a question is unfair to you because you are getting punished for trying to learn something versus being silent.
- Other people’s behavior.
- You cannot always be responsible for someone else’s behavior towards someone else because you are not them.
- You should not have to be the one apologizing for someone else’s behavior because it was that person who performed the action.
- Not responding immediately to a text, call, or email.
- Unless it is a true emergency, there is no reason why you should apologize for not taking that text, call, or email when you have other stuff going on.
- Feeling that you have to always to respond immediately to a text, call, or email can distract you from taking care of your own needs.
- Circumstances you cannot control.
- You cannot apologize for the things that you have no control over because it is beyond your limits of control.
- You cannot take responsibility for the circumstances that beyond your scope because it can create undue stress upon yourself.
With these seven things, although society will try to get you to apologize for these at some point, understand that the moment you apologize is the moment you compromise who you are.
Let’s remember not to apologize for sharing because if you never shared your thoughts, feelings, or presence with the world, nobody would know or understand who you are and what you stand for.
In the question section, I want you to give some serious thought to the questions above and share your answers and comments below. Your answers and insight can help yourself and other people understand that there are moments where you can simply speak your mind about anything and not worry about having to apologize for it.