“Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we love, that means we haven’t loved enough.” -Elif Shafak
Keep this in mind whenever you wonder about how a transformation can affect your relationships.
When you find yourself in love and develop either a friendship or a romantic relationship, you can expect some kind of transformation to occur within yourself and the person you are forming the friendship or romantic relationship with. Each person you get into a friendship or romantic relationship will transform who you are simply because no two people are the same.
For today’s inspiration, the focus is on your transformation during your friendships and romantic relationships. We will take a look at the following:
- What is a transformation?
- What can prevent you from experiencing a transformation during your friendships and romantic relationships?
- How can friendships and romantic relationships transform your life?
- What can you do to let your friendships and romantic relationships transform your life for the better?
Now that we have the questions, let’s find the answers!
What is a transformation?
Merriam-Webster defines a transformation as:
- A complete or major change in someone’s or something’s appearance, form, etc.
A transformation is something that will cause some reorganization and shifting of things to where if it is done right, a person or thing will become entirely different.
What can prevent you from experiencing a transformation during your friendships and romantic relationships?
If you are not careful with or unaware about what you are during your friendships and relationships, you will find yourself missing out on a transformation that could change your life. Here are three things that can prevent you from experiencing that transformation:
- Egos
- Whether it is from you or someone else, when egos get in the way of friendships and romantic relationships, either one person or both people get left out of transformation process.
- Egos can cause people to focus more on themselves than than the other person.
- When your ego takes over a friendship or romantic relationship, it becomes hard for you to see the potential for a transformation because it is all about you.
- Negativity
- Whether it is from you or someone else, when negativity gets in the way of friendships and romantic relationships, there is no room for anyone to experience a positive transformation.
- Negativity can cause people to doubt, sabotage, and ruin good friendships and relationships.
- When your negativity rules your friendship or romantic relationship, you are liable to say and do something that can prevent you and the other person from experiencing the transformation that can change your life.
- Fear
- Whether it is from you or someone else, when fear gets in the way of friendships and romantic relationships, it prevents everyone from understanding the unknown.
- Fear can cause people to either stay in their comfort zones, quit, or never try to get to know one another.
- When your fear runs your friendship or romantic relationship, your lack of faith and confidence will prevent you from undergoing a transformation with someone else.
How can friendships and romantic relationships transform your life?
Your friendships and romantic relationships can allow for you to transform your life if you allow for them to. Here are four areas where they can transform your life:
- Communication skills
- With each friendship and romantic relationship you encounter, you are constantly learning how to deal with different people on different levels.
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you have, you are given the opportunity to learn how to effectively communicate with someone, mentally, physically, verbally, and non verbally.
- Life experiences
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you encounter, you also are learning new life experiences that will change how you view life in general.
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you have, you are able to experience highs, lows, adventures and lessons that can make you a better person.
- Opportunities
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you encounter, you will always have a new opportunity at something.
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you have, you are able to take advantage of the chances to open up and allow for someone else to present to you opportunities to explore and grow.
- Knowledge
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you encounter, you are able to gain intellect about other people.
- With each friendship and romantic relationship that you have, you get to learn what makes yourself and other people feel happy, sad, loved, hated, and a host of other feelings and thoughts.
What can you do to let your friendships and romantic relationships transform your life for the better?
Your friendships and romantic relationships have the ability to transform your life for the better, but you got to know how to get there. Here is a five step process towards making this happen.
- Open up.
- Take time to open yourself people who may differ from you.
- You can do this through conversation.
- Get to know the other person.
- Use the time to learn about someone else.
- You can do this through research and conversation.
- Let the person add value to your life.
- Give the person a chance to add something to your life that would make them a valuable friend or lover.
- You can do this by allowing them to show you in their own special way.
- Give that person value in return.
- Return the favor so that it is a two-way street between you and the other person.
- You can do this by giving your best to the person.
- Grow together.
- The key to stronger relationship or romantic relationship is your growth.
- Do what it takes to grow together as friends/lovers. (i.e.: communication, dating, travelling, etc.)
Being with my wife for 13 years, I have experienced all five steps with her. As a result, she has watched me transform and evolve from a guy who had potential into a husband and father who knows what he wants out of life.
I encourage you to take the time to see how you have transformed as a result of your friendships and relationships. You will see when you have allowed for the relationships to transform you, you grow and evolve as a person. Let’s remember that transformation in any friendship or relationship can only occur when you are willing to let it happen.
I have a few questions that I would love for you to give some thought. Feel free to answer and comment below:
- Can you recall a moment where a friendship or romantic relationship has caused a transformation in your life for the better?
- How did that friendship or relationship transform your life for the better?
- What would recommend to someone who is dealing with how to let a friendship or romantic relationship transform you?
Your answers and comments can help yourself and someone else understand this important question…
- What can you do to let your friendships and romantic relationships transform your life for the better?
-Michael J. Fite
Michael J. Fite 