I want to start off with this quote from dailyinspirationquotes:
“If you carry the bricks from your past relationship to the new one, you will only build the same house.” -www.dailyinspirationalquotes.in
Keep this in mind whenever you find yourself wondering how and why you keep on repeating the same negative thoughts and actions with each relationship you find yourself in.
Nobody wants to deal with a bad relationship because of the hurt that it brings emotionally, mentally, and physically. You must think that people would learn from their experiences and avoid doing the same negative things in past relationships, but they keep on doing it for some reason that makes sense in their respective minds.
If this situation describes you, I want start off with asking this question below:
Who or what has you carrying the negative thoughts and actions from your previous relationships into your current relationship?
Someone or something serves as the source behind you thinking and doing some of the harmful things that you have either done or experienced in past relationships. Here are three facts that you need to know:
- You are the host and carrier of all of your negative thoughts and actions from your previous relationships.
- People and things may affect what you think and feel from previous relationships, but you can limit the effect they have on your current and future relationships.
- At any time, you can let go of those negative thoughts and actions for good.
Nobody can make you carry negative thoughts and actions from previous relationships into your current relationship, and you have to the power to leave them in the past where they belong.
Why are you bringing your negative thoughts and actions from your previous relationships into your current relationship?
When you bring up stuff from your past, it can affect your present and eventually your future. Here are three facts additional facts that you must know:
- No relationship that you are currently in or will be in will be successful with your negative thoughts and actions from your past.
- If you are recycling your negative thoughts and actions from your past into your currently relationship, it will continue to give you same results.
- You are liable to sabotage your current and future relationships when you bring up your negative thoughts and actions from previous relationships.
You cannot move forward in your current relationship bringing up negative thoughts and actions that you did or experience in the past.
What will happen when you leave behind your negative thoughts and actions from your previous relationships and start over with positive thoughts and actions in your current or new relationship?
Leaving behind the negative thoughts and actions can become difficult when they have become infused into your life to where it is second nature and it is apart of your comfort zone. Nevertheless, it is time to consider letting go of them because if you do not, you are going to continue to hurt yourself and anyone else who chooses to get into a relationship with you. Here are three more facts that you must know:
- Letting go of your negative thoughts and actions will become scary and difficult because you may fear someone doing or saying something that may trigger some thoughts and actions.
- You are giving yourself and your partner a chance to succeed by letting go of unnecessary baggage and building a future together looking forward.
- Your positive thoughts and actions will garner some negativity from people, but it will also attract people who share your same attitude and want to do positive things in a relationship with you.
As hard as it may be to let go of those negative thoughts and actions, it is harder to watch you go through and hurt yourself and your current partner by letting those same thoughts and actions sabotage your current relationship. The last question will give some answers as to how to change for the better.
What are five steps that you can take to build a relationship you can be happy with?
If you are in a current relationship or looking to be in a new relationship, you owe it to yourself, your current partner (if in a current relationship), and your next partner (if you are getting into a new relationship) to come with some fresh thoughts and actions that will give your relationship a chance to succeed.
Before I continue further, I must let you know that there is a chance that your current or new partner may reject what you are doing to give your relationship a chance to succeed. There are two reasons for this:
- They may have found a comfort zone with the negative thoughts and actions as you have done in previous relationships.
- They are also unsure if the change will last should something similar happens again.
Change can be tough on all parties involved which is why want to sit down with your partner (current or new) and read this together so that this can be a team effort to build your relationship with fresh thoughts and actions. If your partner chooses not to change, then you owe to yourself and partner to let go and find someone who wants to build a relationship with fresh thoughts and actions.
If you are still wanting to build your current or new relationship with fresh thoughts and actions, here are five steps towards making this happen:
- Leave the past alone…IN THE PAST!
- It is time for you to let go of the past by deleting the pictures, numbers, text, memories, etc. of the past relationships that have caused you to gain the negative thoughts and feelings that you have currently.
- Let go of the current triggers of your past.
- In addition, let go of people and things currently in your life who are continuing or will continue to bring up those thoughts and actions will cause you to revert back to past behaviors.
- Build with someone who wants what you want.
- Whether it is with current partner or a new partner, find you someone who wants to build a fresh and positive future with you.
- Communicate and build together.
- Always talk to one to one another about what you both want together and find ways where you both can productively build each other up as a team.
- Do not look back or dwell on the past.
- When you are happy with what you have in your partner and relationship, do not look back or dwell on any other past relationship to avoid sabotage and failure of your successful relationship.
It may not be easy being that this will take a lot of work and dedication, but if you can do these five steps, you will find yourself in a relationship that will bring you happiness and joy.
Let’s remember that if you want to succeed in any relationship, it will require you to leave behind yesterday, start fresh today, and look forward to tomorrow.
In the question section, I want you to give some serious thought to the questions above and share your answers below. Your answers and insight can help yourself and other people understand how important it is to build a successful relationship by letting go of the past and giving your current and/or new relationship the fresh and positive energy it deserves.
-Michael J. Fite